My Growth Story
Little blossoms of awareness and change were popping up but BIG growth began for me in 2018…
In 2018, my daughter was in the throes of struggling with her mental health, my mother whom I hadn’t seen since I was 16 had passed away from a life of addiction and prostitution, my marriage was under duress and many other threads seemed to be coming undone. I felt like I was living under a dark cloud.
Childhood trauma taught me experiencing joy was scary and sharing feelings was too vulnerable and uncomfortable. Who I was inside wasn't being translated outward and people weren't getting to see who I was. So much of my life was lived in survivor mode; protecting myself from being hurt. I had large walls built up and only allowed glimpses beneath the walls to my daughter and husband. I rarely let others see who I was. My beliefs, values, and thinking patterns that had kept me safe as a child were no longer serving me. I didn't want to live like that anymore. I wanted to experience and have deep meaning relationships that were built on more than surface conversations. I wanted to release the fear of being hurt and let others in.
I sought out therapy to get out from under that dark cloud. Once I could see the light, I began reading my fair share of spiritual, self-help, and self-development literature.
I have spent the last 3 years challenging my negative thought patterns, questioning, and restructuring my beliefs and values. I took an honest look at how I was showing up in the world. I began practicing self-care, setting boundaries, facing my fears, exploring who I was and who I wanted to be. I started to be experiential with my life and began to live with purpose.
I continue doing the self-work because the self-improvement journey is never completed. We are always changing, gaining knowledge and experience.
Things seemed to intentionally fall apart in order for me to be forced to look at everything, including myself and put it all back together.
I am forever grateful for the year 2018 as it was my wake-up call to a new world of possibilities and the freedom to cultivate my true authentic life.
Every day we have the opportunity to be a better version of ourselves. One seemingly minuscule change per day adds up to a beautiful bloom later.
I spent my childhood learning how to fear and now I spend adulthood learning how not to"
- Gemma Troy